I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
