I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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