I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
