She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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