we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
