I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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