the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
