I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize