So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
