I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you inspire me to be a worse person
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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