Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
