He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
