I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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