google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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