You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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