Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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