dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
