ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
a search helicopter?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
