All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
