The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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