we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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