She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize