he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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