Whod you bang
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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