JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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