Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
