Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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