I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
