Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
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I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
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Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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