yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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