p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
