There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
