why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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