We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
