If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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