I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
