We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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