She said her name was "party"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
