I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
