She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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