it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
