You're so nebulous sometimes
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
