You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
They have beer where we have blood.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
tell me about the eggs
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
