Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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