I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
