White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Randomize
