I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my being single is dangerous.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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