just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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