She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work