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• (917): View more from New York City

  Where you at

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.

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• (925): View more from California

  Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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• (805): View more from California

  How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....

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