Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
