Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli

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  (313): her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli http://tfl.nu/6z4f
  Replies (42) Good night (988) Bad night (5209)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

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  (551): Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva http://tfl.nu/0m5z
  Replies (84) Good night (5475) Bad night (1727)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid

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  (573): My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid http://tfl.nu/x6gk
  Replies (7) Good night (1152) Bad night (2987)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

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  (781): she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped http://tfl.nu/pl2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1875) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.

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  (215): I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore. http://tfl.nu/m8nz
  Replies (9) Good night (3001) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.

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  (863): Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day. http://tfl.nu/qpfj
  Replies (5) Good night (2133) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse

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  (256): All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse http://tfl.nu/7lt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.

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  (207): Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them. http://tfl.nu/x39b
  Replies (6) Good night (3529) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.

  (518): View more from New York

  So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?

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  (203): If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi. (518): So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits? http://tfl.nu/jsif
  Replies (36) Good night (5128) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad

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  (302): Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad http://tfl.nu/cr01
  Replies (6) Good night (1953) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink

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  (717): Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink http://tfl.nu/xefq
  Replies (4) Good night (573) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team

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  (813): You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team http://tfl.nu/nq8a
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.

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  (206): after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted. http://tfl.nu/6q2s
  Replies (5) Good night (525) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.

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  (631): Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night. http://tfl.nu/33bp
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (138)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped

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  (978): I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped http://tfl.nu/oxmq
  Replies (5) Good night (321) Bad night (118)

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