Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
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We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
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Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.