areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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