i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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