So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
