Please, let me fuck your mom
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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