My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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