I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This is my gift to your gina
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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