I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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