I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
