if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
